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about his head。
One hundred and twenty years ago； there being no coffee then； the
respected Hoja； whose story we’ve begun； was simply steaming with rage。
“Hey； Frank infidel； why are you drawing these two？” he was saying。 “These
wretched Kalenderi dervishes wander around thieving and begging； they take
hashish； drink wine； bugger each other； and as is evident from the way they
look； know nothing of performing or reciting prayers； nothing of house； or
home； or family； they’re nothing but the dregs of this good world of ours。 And
you； why are you painting this picture of disgrace when there’s so much
beauty in this great country？ Is it to disgrace us？”
“Not at all； it’s simply because illustrations of your bad side bring in more
money；” said the infidel。 We two dervishes were dumbfounded at the
soundness of the painter’s reasoning。
“If it brought you more money； would you paint the Devil in a favorable
light？” the Hoja Effendi said； coyly trying to start an argument； but as you can
see from this picture； the Veian was a genuine artist； and he’d focused
upon the work before him and the money it’d bring rather than heeding the
Hoja’s empty prattle。
He did indeed paint us； and then slid us into the leather portfolio on the
back of his horse’s saddle； and returned to his infidel city。 Soon afterward； the
victorious armies of the Ottomans conquered and plundered that city on the
banks of the Danube； and the two of us ended up ing back this way to
Istanbul and the Royal Treasury。 From there； copied over and over； we moved
from one secret book to another； and finally arrived at this joyous coffeehouse
where coffee is drunk like a rejuvenating； invigorating elixir。 Now then：
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A Brief Treatise on Painting； Death and Our Place in the World
The Hoja Effendi from Konya； whom we’ve just mentioned； has made the
following claim somewhere in one of his sermons； which are written out and
collected in a thick tome： Kalenderi dervishes are the unnecessary dross of the
world because they don’t belong to any of the four categories into which men
are divided： 1。 notables； 2。 merchants； 3。 farmers and 4。 artists； thus； they are
superfluous。
Additionally； he said the following： “These two always tramp about as a pair
and always argue about which of them will be the first to eat with their only
spoon； and those who don’t know that this is a sly allusion to their true
concern—who’ll be the first to bugger the other—find it amusing and laugh。
His Excellency Please…Don’t…Take…It…Wrong Hoja has uncovered our secret
because he； along with us； the pretty young boys； apprentices and miniaturists；
are all fellow travelers on the same path。”
The Real Secret
However； the real secret is this： While the Frank infidel was making our
picture； he gazed at us so sweetly and with such attention to detail that we
took a liking to him and enjoyed being depicted by him。 But； he was
mitting the error of looking at the world with his naked eye and rendering
what he saw。 Thus； he drew us as if we were blind although we could see just
fine； but we didn’t mind。 Now； we’re quite content； indeed。 According to the
Hoja； we’re in Hell； according to some unbelievers we’re nothing but decayed
corpses and according to you； the intelligent society of miniaturists gathered
here； we’re a picture； and because we’re a picture； we stand here before you as
though we were alive and well。 After our run…in with the respected Hoja
Effendi and after walking from Konya to Sivas in three nights； through eight
villages； begging all the way； one night we were beset by such cold and snow
that we two dervishes； hugging each other tightly； fell asleep and froze to
death。 Just before dying I had a dream： I was the subject of a painting that
entered Heaven after thousands and thousands of years。
335
IT IS I； MASTER OSMAN
They tell a story in Bukhara that dates back to the time of Abdullah Khan。 This
Uzbek Khan was a suspicious ruler； and though he didn’t object to more than
one artist’s brush contributing to the same illustration； he was opposed to
painters copying from one another’s pages—because this made it impossible
to determine which of the artists brazenly copying from one another was to
blame for an error。 More importantly； after a time； instead of pushing
themselves to seek out God’s memories within the darkness； pilfering
miniaturists would lazily seek out whatever they saw over the shoulder of the
artist beside them。 For this reason； the Uzbek Khan joyously weled two
great masters； one from Shiraz in the South； the other from Samarkand in the
East； who’d fled from war and cruel shahs to the shelter of his court； however；
he forbade the two celebrated talents to look at each other’s work； and
separated them by giving them small workrooms on opposite ends of his
palace； as far from each other as possible。 Thus； for exactly thirty…seven years
and four months； as if listening to a legend； these two great masters each
listened to Abdullah Khan recount the magnificence of the other’s never…to…
be…seen work； how it differed from or was oddly similar to the other’s。
Meanwhile； they both lived dying of curiosity about each other’s paintings。
After the Uzbek Khan’s life had run its long tortoiselike course； the two old
artists ran to each other’s rooms to see the paintings。 Later still； sitting upon
either edge of a large cushion； holding each other’s books on their laps and
looking at the pictures that they recognized from Abdullah Khan’s fables； both
the miniaturists were overe with great disappointment because the
illustrations they saw weren’t nearly as spectacular as those they’d anticipated
from the stories they’d heard； but instead appeared； much like all the pictures
they’d seen in recent years； rather ordinary； pale and hazy。 The two great
masters didn’t then realize that the reason for this haziness was the blindness
that had begun to descend upon them； nor did they realize it after both had
gone pletely blind； rather they attributed the haziness to having been
duped by the Khan； and hence they died believing dreams were more beautiful
than pictures。
In the dead of night in the cold Treasury room； as I turned pages with
frozen fingers and gazed upon the pictures in books that I’d dreamed of for
forty years； I knew I was much happier than the artists in this pitiless story
from Bukhara。 It gave me such a thrill to know； before going blind and passing
into the Hereafter； that I was handling the very books whose legends I’d heard
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about my whole life； and at times I would murmur； “Thank you； God； thank
you” when I saw that one of pages I was turning was even more marvelous
than its legend。
For instance； eighty years ago Shah Ismail crossed the river and by the
sword reconquered Herat and all of Khorasan from the Uzbeks； whereupon he
appointed his brother Sam Mirza governor of Herat； to celebrate this joyous
occasion； his brother； in turn； had a manuscript prepared； an illuminated
version of a book entitled The Convergence of the Stars； which recounted a story
as witnessed by Emir Hüsrev in the palace of Delhi。 According to legend； one
illustration in this book showed the two rulers meeting on the banks of a river
where they celebrated their victory。 Their faces resembled the Sultan of Delhi；
Keykubad； and his father； Bughra Khan； the Ruler of Bengal； who were the
subjects of the book； but they also resembled the faces of Shah Ismail and his
brother Sam Mirza； the men responsible for the book’s creation。 I was
absolutely certain that the heroes of whichever